Mold - In Your Ear

I opened a letter that arrived in today's mail. It was a notification from the health system to which my primary care physician belongs. At first glance, it sounded awesome: new service starting this October for specialists to make home visits to Center City residents. I'm thinking, "Cool - when I'm sick my doc can come to me instead of me going to him!" As with many things that sound too good to be true, this wasn't. As it turns out, this new home visit service is for patients who belong to the health system's HEARING CENTER and the specialists are hearing aid specialists. Of the available services these specialists will provide in the comfort of your own home is "ear mold cleaning." Mold in your ear? That's pure grossness. Then I sat staring at the red straw sticking out from the top of my fruit smoothie unable to shake the ugly thought from my mind, and eventually had to put the remainder of my tropical passion smoothie in the fridge.

Fifteen minutes later, it dawned on me that the ear mold did not refer to the type of mold that grows, but to the type that is plastic and created from an imprint made by an original, say, ear. Like an ear mold. I am so dense sometimes it hurts.