Whining

I can get myself into a bit of trouble when I have the apartment to myself; like spoonfuls of creamy peanut butter and chocolate hazelnut spread (like Reese's!) on Saturday mornings; and taking pointless pictures wearing nothing more than the tank and underwear I slept in the night before (classy!).  I didn't know the camera had caught me in the frame, but well, there you have it.

I wish I weren't feeling so, shall we say, tender everywhere.  A little cold this week sapped a lot out of me.  Being high on electric blue pills to get through the day and clawing through restless nights with congestion is no way to live.  On the plus side, I was proud of myself for sticking it out and not taking time off from work.  It was a godsend that I could go home for lunch.  Have you ever tried lying on top of your comforter?  It's kind of nice.  Also, walking into your office with pillow crease wrinkles on your face in the middle of the afternoon makes you feel very self-conscious.

I'm feeling what I can best describe as urban claustrophobia.  It's muggy.  It's smelly.  It's gross.  There are too many smokers standing at stop lights next to me.  I even sought out Central Park hoping for a little break.  I wanted to be somewhere where I couldn't see a single taxi.  I wanted a lot of green grass and open air and flora.  I arrived at the south end of the Park and walked all the way up and around in circles looking for a quiet spot to...well, I don't know what I expected to do.  I just wanted a little break from the furious strollers and the anorexic couture-clad women and the tall business men that walk so smartly around me every day.  Instead, the park was packed to its gills: lovers wedged on top of another; artists hocking their acts along the winding walking paths; kids throwing tantrums; bikini-clad iPhone-yapping locals packed like anchovies across precious lawn space.  It was all just too much.

I think I went to the wrong place.  I should have headed west to the Hudson, maybe at dusk, when the air's a little cooler and the water catches the amber of the sun.  It's finally September which means that the crap of summer in the city is only around for a tad bit longer.  Hallelujah.