There Was That One Day
I had just spent my first Thanksgiving weekend alone. It was unsurprisingly uneventful. I suspected that after a long weekend on my own, I'd be in dire need of some company (any company, even a stranger's!), but come Monday, it was oddly not so. I was puzzled. What I craved, what I needed, was to be outdoors. But I couldn't do the concrete and shadows of the city. Not on this day, at least. I didn't want tourist-packed Central Park either. What I really wanted was an uninterrupted hour on a beach. To turn my back to the land and look out at the horizon - yes, that's what I needed. I stood in a piping hot shower and tossed around the idea of hopping on a train to Brooklyn, to Coney Island. The subway had brought me there once, surely it could do so again. But I had no patience for a long train ride today. A rental car, maybe? Too much work. Instead, I pulled out my wool coat and left my place as fast as I could. Wet hair and all. I let the door slam behind me.
I walked. For five hours straight, I let my feet patiently carry me. I wove in and out of quiet streets, sometimes retracing footsteps, sometimes not. There was SoHo, the West Village, glimmers of the Hudson, chilly hands, and a mind rammed full of endless, disconnected thoughts. The city still felt empty from the holiday weekend. That helped.
Finding a small pocket of outdoor empty and quiet in this life, my life, is a tall order. Most of the time, I don't even recognize just how much I'm aching for it until I walk into it. When your head's so clouded you're afraid you might implode, it's a good idea to walk it off. Head out somewhere, anywhere, that will center you again. On this occasion, there was no sand or blustery sea wind or breathtaking horizon, but that's not the point. You don't always know how you'll get to where you want to go, but make an effort and eventually, you'll get there.
From that day I took for myself back in November, looking westward from the High Line {+}:
3:20 pm. Monday. 26 November. 2012.
Great shot. I often crave the beach and the mountains, but it's not so easy to get there from here. I'm glad you found what you were looking for, however small.
ReplyDeleteWhat would be great is if I could beam myself to and from outdoor nature-y places and home. Without the nauseating car rides and airport security lines and the mad rushes to the Amtrak gates. Yes, that would be great.
DeleteUpper Central Park isn't so bad - I think the Ramble (my favorite part) and the area north of it tend to be less crowded with tourists and locals. I'm glad you were able to find some peace and solitude, though. It's hard to find it in New York! (and, to be fair, in most cities)
ReplyDeleteYou're totally right about the city thing. I'm being too "grass-is-greener-on-other-side" and less appreciative of the opportunity to live here.
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