Changes
Let me tell you exactly what has changed since I took this snapshot in bed two weeks ago:
1) I drank that pomegranate hyacinth tea lemonade. It was delicious.
2) I read two pages of the book upon which that cup of lemonade is sitting. I have my reservations about Ms. Wharton.
3) There is a sliver of a hair clip just barely noticeable - I dropped it and it broke into three pieces.
4) I tore a hole near the inseam of my most comfortable pair of jeans.
5) I tore another hole right through the inseam of my second most comfortable pair of jeans.
6) I dozed off while standing in a checkout line at Trader Joe's. A lady way behind me in the other line yelled, "Miss, there are people behind you!" I opened my eyes to see twenty feet of open space in front of me. The ten people that were there before had suddenly turned to two. Surprisingly, no one seemed particularly annoyed at me, even the lady who called out. It's probably a good thing the woman addressed me as miss. Had she used ma'am, who knows what sass might have tumbled out.
Let me tell you exactly what has not changed since I took this snapshot in bed two weeks ago:
1) The dust on the mirror.
2) My legs. They could use a wax.
3) Aquaphor. I rub a good dollop into my heels every night.
4) Sonograms. Way too many women in my circles are getting knocked up.
I'm writing this right now as a rowdy party is happening on the outside terrace of neighbors who live several floors down. This happens frequently on Friday and Saturday nights, especially when it's nice out, but on work nights, it's a real treat. Drunken screams abound and a catchy Of Monsters and Men tune is currently ripping through the air. Some girl keeps screaming for Ben and dammit, Ben, go to her. Go to her and shut up her drunken screeching. Might I add that it is nearly eleven o'clock? I, for one, have to go to the office tomorrow morning.
1) The dust on the mirror.
2) My legs. They could use a wax.
3) Aquaphor. I rub a good dollop into my heels every night.
4) Sonograms. Way too many women in my circles are getting knocked up.
I'm writing this right now as a rowdy party is happening on the outside terrace of neighbors who live several floors down. This happens frequently on Friday and Saturday nights, especially when it's nice out, but on work nights, it's a real treat. Drunken screams abound and a catchy Of Monsters and Men tune is currently ripping through the air. Some girl keeps screaming for Ben and dammit, Ben, go to her. Go to her and shut up her drunken screeching. Might I add that it is nearly eleven o'clock? I, for one, have to go to the office tomorrow morning.
I hope their beer kegs are tainted and will give all their guests, but ESPECIALLY my neighbors, severe diarrhea that will render them useless and in painful gastric distress for the entire weekend.
Oh my god the last paragraphs made me laugh a LOT. And I totally know what you mean with women I know getting pregnant. It's weird and scary and a little bit intimidating. xx
ReplyDeleteI'm mature, that's for sure!
DeleteI'm actually comfortable with the pregnancy scene. It's just funny that every woman I spend time around these days is with child. Every single one!