US Open 2008

 

AWE MEE GAWSH. Me love me some tennis; especially court side on a sunny day in Flushing.

Thanks to a friendly audience member seated behind us, we learned that the older gentleman who was escorted to the row in front of us more than halfway through the second set was one Mr. Poncho Gonzales, a famous tennis player from way back in the day. His name might ring a bell to some of our parents. There was quite a flutter of commotion around us. People came from out of nowhere with their oversized tennis balls asking for autographs. And to top it off, a few moments later, another guest was seated right next to him. It turned out to be some famous transexual tennis player, a Renée Richards, formerly Richard Raskind. I didn't know of her either, but who knew that a man-turned-woman tennis star even existed?! Our world is certainly changing, isn't it?

But here's the incident at this year's US Open that "took the cake." A tubby 5'3" gentleman somewhere around 36 years of age dove not once, not twice, but three times for a fly tennis ball a mere five feet from us. There was a frantic display of slippery fingers followed by a spectacularly ungraceful lunge, and then fierce belly-flopping upon the rough cemented surface of the walkway behind our box section. Once the coveted neon green ball was finally resting in the man's chubby hands, the stadium commended the man's fantastic display with polite applause and soft laughter. Of course, Bammer and Bartoli took a mini break from their match as they, too, waited for the fiasco to end. Internet, I was raising my camera to capture a photograph of Mr. Tubby for you, but when he started the flopping like a fish out of water, his shirt lifted and revealed a ghastly overspill of unsightly white belly, and of course, I had no choice but to cover my mouth with both hands, dropping the camera onto my lap, thus rendering a photograph impossible.