Tears

I saw something at work today and before I knew it, a couple little tears made a surprise appearance.  It came out of the blue; the urge, that is. It came suddenly, really fast, and really hard.

The nonprofit group I've been with this winter runs charter schools in an underserved section of the city. I've been working on a variety of projects, but all of them require access to sensitive and confidential information. Today, I went on-site to one of the schools for my most recent project. It caught me off guard when I came across the letterheads of several of the city's homeless shelters in the student files.  I noticed some of these shelters officially went by names that included transition home which I think is apt, but I think shelter is a better fit than home because home carries with it a sense of permanence and ownership.  Any home where you're forced to stay temporarily cannot possibly offer either of those two things.  But it can offer shelter.

So there you have it: children living in what they call transition homes even though they don't know exactly to where they'll be transitioning.

Children who have to produce signed letters 

From their homeless shelters

To bring to school

To prove that they are eligible to attend this school. 

Let's let that sink in, shall we?

The dates on the letters glared at me.  December something 2009.  That was two months ago.  Right before the holidays.  Right before my 29th birthday.  The birthday that fell in a month when I had funds to pay rent.  To buy groceries.  To even buy Christmas gifts for family.  At least I'm not ten.  And living in a shelter with my parents and siblings all the while trying to just be a kid.  Homework.  TV.  Music lessons.  Birthday parties.  Video games.  You know...kid stuff.  My thoughts continued.  Where do they do their laundry?  Where do the children eat?  In a dining hall?  At a soup kitchen?  Do they not eat?  Are the hot breakfast and lunch meals at school the only food they get?  What do they do for food on the weekends?

Shit. I'm crying again.