Incomprehensible

While impatiently waiting to hear Adele's gorgeous voice on the Grammy's broadcast this past Sunday, I couldn't help but feel amazingly disappointed by the fact that Chris Brown received any performance time in the show, no less two performances.  The fact that he won a Grammy?  Here we are almost four days after the award show and I'm still reeling from that blow.  During the broadcast, I said something out loud about my distaste for how the entertainment industry has condoned his problem with violence.  None of the other four people in the room blinked an eye.  Two of them were my siblings.  That made me want to vomit.

After a long December hiatus, when I finally caught up on my blog-reading the first week of January, one very upsetting post made me fall over.  A popular blogger with a lot of sass, a lot of gumption, and a lot of opinion posted a picture of a bruise on her naked body.  Immediately beneath the image was a collection of select, choice words about how she had checked herself and her kids into a hotel because she needed to distance herself from her husband for a little while.  Her husband had hit her.  Again.  She played her part in instigating it.  She has no intention of ever leaving.  Those last four sentences, although mine, neatly sum up her post.

I cannot tell you how alarming it was to read her words, the thoughts and convictions of someone who appears to be a relatively sane and strong woman with a blog that draws hundreds of comments to a post.  It reminded me that bloggers, whether consciously or not, curate their online identities.  No site is purely organic.  An author chooses what to share and what to withhold, when to speak and when to stay silent.  On this day, this woman showed her troubled side.  It made me physically ill and for the next few days, I had no appetite.

Commenters, of course, advised her to run for the hills with the children in tow.  The author went on the defense, flabbergasted that well-meaning readers might deign to believe that they know what's best for her.  She insisted that she chooses to stay with her husband, that she will not dissolve her marriage over domestic abuse.  She firmly told everyone to shove it.

I guess I misinterpreted her stubborn pride for strength and her insecurities for sassy independence.  How a woman with such success and resolute attitude can choose to stay in a marriage that puts her and her children in harm's way - this is beyond the limits of my comprehension.

Let me tell you how I cringed and winced, how I felt so run down as I read this blind woman's words.  I felt so helpless.  Not for her.  Goodness, no.  For her children.  It's always the toughest on the little ones that never asked to be a part of their parents' crazy.