Dave Doesn't Count

As appropriate as it may be that my first brush with a star as a New York resident was a face from the Food Network, I wish it were someone that I respected, like Giada or Ina. Walking right into the UES H&H Bagels before me this afternoon was Dave Lieberman himself. I've written about him before having crossed paths with the overachieving prick in high school. Unlike his growing female fan base, I was not so much impressed with him or his cooking talents as much as I was caught offguard with his growing superstardom for someone so young. My first impression from my high school days was right on: he hasn't changed a bit save for perhaps an even more pretentious air emanating from his whole being.

When he placed his order for two bagels and condiments, he mumbled, got annoyed when asked to repeat his order, wouldn't even make eye contact with the counter guy, and when charged forty cents for each single serving of Philadelphia cream cheese, he gawked at the price. When it came time for him to pay, he left exact change on the counter not even waiting to be rung up. Not even a "thanks," "gotta run," "have a good day," grunt, nothing. No acknowledgment whatsoever. He certainly didn't look good either: he was sporting dirty jeans, a t-shirt so thin and scattered with holes that you wondered why a Food Network star couldn't afford a nice clean Gap cotton t-shirt, and his hair looked like it hadn't been washed in days. If it weren't two something in the afternoon, I would have thought he was getting breakfast for himself and a friend after a late night booty call.

I got home, Googled his name, and learned that he moved from New York to a Hollywood Hills home earlier this spring and is no longer affiliated with the Food Network (perhaps due to his unprofessional behavior at a demonstration earlier this year - what star in his right mind would get plastered, use the word "skank" repeatedly, and swear during a public cooking demo?). His ego must have interfered with his working relationship with the Food Network and he's moved towards other career engagements. As luck would have it, a few short hours after my live sighting, I had the pleasure of catching his short 5' 5" frame holding a wheel of cheddar cheese on a Kraft television commercial. Further Googling uncovered that Yahoo has recruited the youngster in collaboration with Unilever's Hellmann's for a web series. Unfortunately, I doubt that he'll convince anyone to eat popsicles made out of mayonnaise, no matter how awestruck some unknowing foolish females may feel about his social availability. But if endorsing cheese and mayonnaise buys you a house in the Hills in your twenties, who am I to criticize?

I'm not going to count this event as my first official star encounter as a New Yorker. When I see a gentlemanly star, someone who has a more agreeable, sincere, and kind demeanor, someone akin to Jake Gyllenhaal for example, then I'll truly be a New Yorker.