Bringing Sexy Back: The American Apparel Printed Tee

Wowsers, is this t-shirt made out of the best combed cotton ever or what?  American Apparel, I am looking at you.  One day, I will stop buying cheap Gap shirts off the sales rack and faithfully update my closet every season with all your simple basic wonders.  I love what you do.

With my iPod fully charged I went for a little stroll in my neighborhood yesterday and worked my way through a beginner's Spanish Pimsleur course wearing this tee.  In the streets of this city, you can get away with just about anything without attracting attention so I had no qualms about talking out loud to myself ambling along Third Avenue all by my lonesome.  I mean, however else will I learn if I don't do as the narrator instructs and repeat out loud?

Entiendo.  ¿Quanto?  Tengo cinqo dolares.  ¿Sabe usted donde esta el hotel?  Muchas gracias, señor.

I'll tell you, I can't for the life of me pronounce el restaurante correctly.  I sound like such a poser.

As I was whispering random Spanish phrases over and over again, random guys would stare at me for so long that as they approached closer and closer until they walked clear past me in the opposite direction, they'd turn their heads with their eyes still peeled onto my chest.  Totally weird.

Then I got a clue that I was wearing this t-shirt and as if repeating Spanish words with a painfully American accent weren't crazy enough, I laughed out loud right in the middle of the street.

Once upon a time long long ago, I journeyed to Iowa {+} and my kind hosts presented me with this shirt to commemorate my visit.  I bet most American coastal-abiding citizens won't get the punch line.  Actually, there are several.  The photo's fuzzy so here are the details:

GREETINGS FROM OHIO!!!

[Inside the outline of a state are cities marked as 
Boise, Des Moines, Cleveland, Davenport, and Akron.]

THE GREAT POTATO STATE